Wednesday, July 25, 2007

D#10, HW#5, Transitions

The first paragraph I chose to revise was my first one.
  • Stress is something that most people have to cope with on a daily basis, but school seems to add another level of stress that most students have to handle. There are many types of stress that are unique to school, while at the same time some older students have to be able to deal with outside sources that many people already out of school have to cope with also. There are a lot of positive ways to manage stress, from easy to do techniques to some extreme techniques that may have to be taken to relieve stress. There are also some negative to tragic ways students have dealt with stress in the past. The results of these tragic events also causes more stress on students, but while not unique to students this post traumatic stress is just something else in their daily lives. Most students have had to deal with stress while they attended school, everyone should learn to recognize the signs of someone being overstressed because there are positive and negative ways to cope with stress and if they chose a negative path the results can be devastating.

  • Stress is something that most people have to cope with on a daily basis, but school seems to add another level of stress that most students have to handle. There are many types of stress that are unique to school, while at the same time some older students have to be able to deal with outside sources that many people already out of school have to cope with also. Positive ways to manage stress can range from easy techniques that require minimal effort to extreme techniques that may be needed to relieve severe stress. Unfortunately, students have dealt with stress in the past with negative to tragic ways. The results of these tragic events also cause even more stress on students. However, while not unique to students, this post traumatic stress adds an additional burden to their daily lives. Most students have had to deal with stress while they attended school. Students and teachers should learn to recognize the signs of their classmates and colleagues being overstressed because there are many different ways to cope with stress, if a negative path is chosen the results can be devastating.
I think the changes target my audience better and helps the flow of the paragraph.

The next paragraph I chose to revise is my second one:
  • “The American College Health Association cites stress as the number-one impediment to academic performance in its national college health assessment” (Abrams). The main cause of stress to students is the feeling of being overwhelmed. This is mainly due to daunting deadlines and more homework than the student thinks they can handle. There is also a helpless feeling associated with the workload the student is under like no matter how hard he or she tries there is no end to the homework. Another cause of stress, partly associated with homework, is sometimes plans have to be changed due to the student may need to meet deadlines leading to a feeling of being alone. Students can also be pressured by a high academic demand; either by themselves or their parents, leading to stress due to getting grades on their work that is below standard. As the school year moves on it can at times seem like there is no end in sighs causing more anxiety as it seems the winter or summer break will never arrive. With this though another deadline presents in the form of final exams, with some of these exams being a large part of the final grade a student can achieve in the given class. All of these sources of stress seem to build up and cause increasing frustration, but there are some positive ways to handle this stress.

  • “The American College Health Association cites stress as the number-one impediment to academic performance in its national college health assessment” (Abrams). The main cause of stress to students is the feeling of being overwhelmed. This is mainly due to daunting deadlines and more homework than the student thinks they can handle. There is also a helpless feeling associated with the workload the student is under, for instance the feeling that no matter how hard he or she tries there is no end to the homework. Another cause of stress, partly associated with homework, is sometimes plans have to be changed due to the student may need to meet deadlines, in general this leads to a feeling of being alone. Students can also be pressured by a high academic demand; either by themselves or their parents, leading to stress due to getting grades on their work that is below standard. As the school year moves on it can at times seem like there is no end in sighs causing more anxiety as it seems the winter or summer break will never arrive. With this though another deadline presents in the form of final exams, with some of these exams being a large part of the final grade a student can achieve in the given class. All of these sources of stress seem to build up and cause increasing frustration, but there are some positive ways to handle this stress.

I also feel that these changes improve the flow of the paragraph and I will most likely keep them in my final draft.

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